Free voicemail greetings

Hello thank you for calling and disturbing the peace to help expedite your call please listen carefully to the following options. If you're calling to solicit a double tape. Press one if you're calling regarding a job press two. If you're calling to borrow money. Press three if you're calling to find the nearest weak(?) spot in your area. Press four if you're out of alcohol(?) on Sunday press five. If you need a whole for the evening press six if you woke up with a hang over and up here every balls on your forehead press seven. You just press seven. You've been victimized to introduce tomorrow crime cool(?) tea bag and we suggest you probably hang up the phone EDS of-anyway-guys(?) you hung out with last night and find destroy your old photos before they appear on the Internet. Thank you for calling. Good luck. Goodbye.