Free voicemail greetings

Hey your brother. I'm sorry I wasn't nobody here to answer the phone at this time but we'd be currently doing man maybe sitting on the commode or outside watering the plants and doing the dishes and so perhaps we just don't care to answer the phone to talk to you answer just leave a message and mash-out-the(?) buttons and whatever you wanna do. We'll call you back later on tell your mama has to do.