Free voicemail greetings

Hello I am an artificial intelligence robot and I come in peace. No I'm not an alien but that would be pretty [...] cool. I'm just a messenger here and I'm sorry but at this present time the person you are trying to reach is either not available working cleaning sleeping or just taking a poop you I know gross(?) not everyone likes to answer their phone so you might want to try sending a text instead texting will get your response much quicker and phone calls are so over rated plus it takes too much time to answer a call especially if you're one of those talkers who never knows when to shut up AKA. Just check your mail. Ha ha. I'm kidding or mine but anyways I think it's nice that you called and you may now leave your message after the beep.