Mental Health Hotline

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Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline... press 1 if you are crazy and then some... a little long but funny!
Added: 6/22/07
From: FunnyGreetingFan
Listens: 702374
Tags: voicemail psychiatrist humor visual funny youmail
Rating:

1334 ratings

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Comments On This Greeting ( 141 )
Comment Icon At 8/3/07, 12:07 AM, DougC said...
funny
Comment Icon At 8/22/07, 10:08 AM, Bluewolf said...
A classic :-) http://www.ahajokes.com/p016.html
Comment Icon At 8/22/07, 2:22 PM, Og_Baltimore said...
hilarilous
Comment Icon At 9/28/07, 8:37 PM, badboy said...
this is great
Comment Icon At 10/6/07, 5:01 PM, Basierre said...
Classic!
Comment Icon At 10/25/07, 8:59 PM, KARNZUMAA said...
I LOVE IT!
Comment Icon At 12/10/07, 4:50 AM, k4nch1 said...
huahaha.. SO freakin funny. :D
Comment Icon At 1/12/08, 2:19 PM, thewizard said...
Funny but too long
Comment Icon At 1/27/08, 8:59 PM, rinkus said...
theres a number and extension you can call to hear the same thing, but i dont remember it
Comment Icon At 2/5/08, 11:55 PM, Termanader said...
BEST ONE in my opinion that is.
Comment Icon At 2/13/08, 8:17 PM, NNNicole said...
I have a friend who is a social worker, I think I will attach this one to here number
Comment Icon At 4/4/08, 10:22 PM, rjlutz1 said...
that one was great
Comment Icon At 4/5/08, 7:45 PM, SoDoWarts said...
great but too long
Comment Icon At 4/17/08, 11:13 PM, keminer said...
thats great! a little long though
Comment Icon At 5/5/08, 8:54 PM, ahahh said...
i love it halarilous
Comment Icon At 6/5/08, 5:28 PM, t001z said...
awesome, simply awesome
Comment Icon At 6/16/08, 1:31 AM, *Anonymous* said...
I love it!!!! LOL LOL
Comment Icon At 6/28/08, 12:07 AM, hahadummies said...
yeah its wayy to fuckin long
Comment Icon At 7/12/08, 2:24 PM, 4everb0nd said...
It's long but it is funny XD
Comment Icon At 7/15/08, 5:07 PM, argi27 said...
crazy funny.lol
Comment Icon At 10/12/08, 3:21 AM, Babe said...
o.m.g. this is soooo funny. wow
Comment Icon At 10/30/08, 7:05 PM, Mitsuman said...
this is awesome!
Comment Icon At 10/30/08, 7:12 PM, Mitsuman said...
this is awesome!
Comment Icon At 11/13/08, 1:51 AM, DGlamourest1 said...
This is very funny and long. However, I think that I might try it. Because it is so long, people who annoy you will probably get annoyed by it and hang up. Hopefully, anyway.
Comment Icon At 11/17/08, 10:00 PM, ferrari1974 said...
too damn perfect!!! 6969696969696969696
Comment Icon At 11/21/08, 6:24 AM, anonamouse said...
What a riot!!! Excellent!!!
Comment Icon At 12/2/08, 3:53 PM, lenny said...
Great but very long for a greating.
Comment Icon At 12/23/08, 7:13 AM, Bluewolf said...
This is a classic!
Comment Icon At 12/23/08, 7:15 AM, Bluewolf said...
This is a duplicate of id 2172
Comment Icon At 1/12/09, 5:25 AM, *Anonymous* said...
my brother put this one as mine i lol every time
Comment Icon At 2/25/09, 7:54 PM, MommaJewlz said...
I love it...he sounds so serious....ROFLMBO!
Comment Icon At 3/18/09, 4:02 AM, *Anonymous* said...
exxxxelent
Comment Icon At 3/24/09, 9:56 PM, Crazylady said...
i love this and set it ofr some one i know will love it!!! Like me
Comment Icon At 3/25/09, 3:21 AM, Leeston said...
great!
Comment Icon At 3/30/09, 2:21 AM, JonPrivate said...
Check out the messages from jonprivate
Comment Icon At 4/24/09, 3:47 AM, hosey420 said...
this is fucking awesome,
Comment Icon At 5/5/09, 4:34 AM, MissMickey85 said...
omg....this is freaking hilarious...
Comment Icon At 5/12/09, 9:26 PM, *Anonymous* said...
AWESOME!!!! AWESOME!! 5 STARS!!
Comment Icon At 5/24/09, 6:55 PM, YourMom said...
lmfao.
Comment Icon At 5/28/09, 7:33 PM, Maum said...
What if I fall under all catagories? God, I love it.
Comment Icon At 6/6/09, 6:19 PM, GrannySuze said...
lol This isn't a good one for people who annoy you. They will keep calling back to listen to it again. They will have their friends call you to listen to it. If THEY annoy you, their friends will probably annoy you even more. It's a great message. People will probably start calling in the middle of the night hoping you don't answer the phone so they can hear it again and again. lol I love this one!
Comment Icon At 6/18/09, 10:00 PM, ILANIT said...
EXCELLENT 5 STARS!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!
Comment Icon At 7/8/09, 3:55 AM, Lionel said...
I use this on my fathers number, and he always gets a kick out of it. He'll call and tell me to hang up so his buddies can listen, i have a bunch of saved voice mails of him and others laughing at it. Makes his day, thanks!
Comment Icon At 7/8/09, 4:04 AM, Lionel said...
I use this on my fathers number, and he always gets a kick out of it. He'll call and tell me to hang up so his buddies can listen, i have a bunch of saved voice mails of him and others laughing at it. Makes his day, thanks!
Comment Icon At 7/10/09, 12:21 AM, niknac said...
Oh my word! I can't stop giggling. My therapist is almost always amused by my VM greetings, but she is really going to love this one! Thank-you so much.
Comment Icon At 7/15/09, 12:22 AM, misshell said...
STUPENDOUS, I LOVE, LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE
Comment Icon At 8/5/09, 2:23 AM, Neds said...
funny but long. I love it
Comment Icon At 8/12/09, 3:18 AM, nathank said...
I love this! I wish there were more like it.
Comment Icon At 8/15/09, 9:41 PM, osu1 said...
i love it
Comment Icon At 9/6/09, 4:13 PM, Scorpio44 said...
this one is funny and cool thanks i needed that laugh
Comment Icon At 9/10/09, 7:23 PM, mecca6801 said...
made my eyes water!!! lmao
Comment Icon At 9/17/09, 5:42 AM, Dane said...
Toooo Funny!!!
Comment Icon At 10/22/09, 2:05 AM, iphone_man said...
this is soooooooooo funny!!
Comment Icon At 11/5/09, 1:58 AM, ipomega said...
I am laughing my Azz off
Comment Icon At 11/6/09, 3:44 PM, *Anonymous* said...
great, all my contacts are at least one of these...................
Comment Icon At 11/29/09, 1:52 AM, stephanied said...
SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Comment Icon At 12/15/09, 3:24 AM, Makai said...
This would be great if it didn't force someone to wait for 40 something seconds... Great to use on someone you don't really like at all. Or possibly hate...
Comment Icon At 1/19/10, 3:26 PM, warzs1 said...
THAT IS f**K*NG GREAT!
Comment Icon At 1/21/10, 4:23 AM, wednesday said...
this is soooooooooo funnnnnnnny!!!!!!!!!
Comment Icon At 2/10/10, 6:21 PM, kpilk said...
that is just priceless!
Comment Icon At 2/21/10, 8:34 PM, sslava said...
I know the perfect person for this greeting! LMAO!!!!
Comment Icon At 3/25/10, 10:59 PM, leet13 said...
PERFECT!!!!! LOVE IT!
Comment Icon At 5/4/10, 2:26 AM, PhotoshopUzr said...
this is hilarious, love it the best
Comment Icon At 5/22/10, 4:13 PM, *Anonymous* said...
Perfect.
Comment Icon At 6/16/10, 4:51 AM, texter05 said...
Exactly what I need for certain people in my life. Thank you!!
Comment Icon At 7/7/10, 11:13 PM, heyyo said...
i don't get it it dum
Comment Icon At 8/3/10, 1:54 AM, uruguayo said...
jajajaja i think i might use this one :P
Comment Icon At 8/19/10, 9:41 PM, StillCheeky said...
My friend is gonna love this! LMAO
Comment Icon At 9/21/10, 12:53 AM, laughloveknit said...
ha love this one! Have it set for my best friend because she thinks it's hilarious and will call just to hear it.
Comment Icon At 1/24/11, 5:22 PM, Maire said...
Excellent! I'm setting this for everyone!
Comment Icon At 2/5/11, 2:59 PM, Aish said...
This is the best! Love love love it! A bit long but its so funny the length is not a problem. LMAO
Comment Icon At 2/16/11, 2:16 PM, cazualj said...
ha hga lmao this is the best
Comment Icon At 2/21/11, 6:06 PM, GOLD said...
I accidently rated it. I bought it cause I thought it was awesome. but I accidently rated it a 1 but my computer froze and I did'nt get to finish selecting the stars.
Comment Icon At 3/1/11, 10:21 AM, girlphil said...
I found this to be most enjoyable, man what a riot (smile)
Comment Icon At 3/23/11, 3:39 PM, SimplyDiva said...
This is one of the best I have heard, being that I work in the mental field many days this is how you feel..lol
Comment Icon At 3/23/11, 3:39 PM, SimplyDiva said...
This is one of the best I have heard, being that I work in the mental field many days this is how you feel..lol
Comment Icon At 3/23/11, 3:40 PM, SimplyDiva said...
Great one I love it
Comment Icon At 3/25/11, 8:13 PM, *Anonymous* said...
now this shi is very funny!!
Comment Icon At 6/28/11, 3:12 PM, JonnyCage said...
Stellar! Thanks
Comment Icon At 7/4/11, 1:55 AM, Mr_Howzat said...
AND IT'S HOWZAT!
Comment Icon At 7/5/11, 12:24 AM, bravosfanatic84 said...
Literally had me laughing out loud! Setting it as my default.
Comment Icon At 7/7/11, 7:03 PM, Ghettolectual said...
Damn I can only have 30 sec greetings on my phone.
Comment Icon At 7/28/11, 3:23 PM, cupcake27 said...
verry funny
Comment Icon At 8/13/11, 3:58 PM, DominicanitaNT said...
lol!!
Comment Icon At 8/19/11, 8:29 AM, Gummy said...
Cool!
Comment Icon At 8/22/11, 8:13 AM, DocRon said...
KEWL!
Comment Icon At 9/10/11, 9:05 PM, BigCajun76 said...
Laughed so much my balls hurt!!
Comment Icon At 9/10/11, 9:35 PM, BigCajun76 said...
Laughed so much my balls hurt!!
Comment Icon At 9/11/11, 7:39 PM, Rellow85 said...
Lmao! I fell out lol at this one. !
Comment Icon At 9/19/11, 2:12 AM, tizoc said...
To long i feel sorry for the listener
Comment Icon At 9/23/11, 4:11 AM, *Anonymous* said...
Perfect!! So funny, very dry. I love it!
Comment Icon At 10/26/11, 10:25 AM, Superteller said...
Funnnnny, bit a wee bit too long!
Comment Icon At 10/29/11, 1:14 AM, halfnaked said...
THIS IS SO FUNNY NUMBER 1 FOR PHONES
Comment Icon At 11/7/11, 4:29 PM, *Anonymous* said...
Awesome. Makes my day
Comment Icon At 12/18/11, 11:34 AM, Xkutax said...
I love this greeting. I do not get as many voice mails anymore from unwanted people. Woohoo.
Comment Icon At 2/24/12, 9:49 PM, youdroid said...
I like it!
Comment Icon At 3/18/12, 11:50 AM, pureelegance said...
Love it...just awesome
Comment Icon At 4/1/12, 8:29 AM, Reaper72 said...
I Love it and have to set it for just a few of my friends. LMAOROTF
Comment Icon At 4/10/12, 2:27 PM, funcruz said...
This is good I love it my friends will get a kick out of it
Comment Icon At 4/27/12, 12:47 AM, cutie123 said...
woooooooooww.... funny.
Comment Icon At 5/23/12, 1:07 AM, *Anonymous* said...
This is ridiculously funny!
Comment Icon At 6/7/12, 1:03 AM, llasdrib said...
That's f'n hilarious!!
Comment Icon At 10/14/12, 12:33 AM, sunya said...
hahahahahahahaahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!
Comment Icon At 11/3/12, 10:12 PM, pussycatgrl1 said...
Luv this but don't think too many people will have the patients to listen to the whole message! Well at least if they already heard it! Anyway I absolutely think this is histerical!!!
Comment Icon At 11/27/12, 4:41 AM, Murphy said...
I love this. I have soooo many contacts l am going to use this on.
Comment Icon At 12/23/12, 7:47 AM, Mrs_ShuttaBugg said...
Lmao....if someone holds on, they deserve it
Comment Icon At 1/3/13, 2:20 PM, chellz said...
This is wayyyyyyy to funny I luv it
Comment Icon At 1/24/13, 3:49 AM, *Anonymous* said...
Mohamed majeed
Comment Icon At 2/19/13, 11:59 AM, ShanJ said...
Pretty cool
Comment Icon At 2/21/13, 2:12 AM, eyesfree said...
Love it. I know a few of my family members who could have this tone assigned to them
Comment Icon At 4/27/13, 7:09 AM, Sulli944 said...
This is not me or wait is it??
Comment Icon At 4/27/13, 2:32 PM, Bigsexxxxie said...
Too funny..I love it..LOL
Comment Icon At 5/15/13, 6:15 PM, *Anonymous* said...
you know mental health professionals listen to this and laugh.
Comment Icon At 6/6/13, 6:20 PM, Littlered4457 said...
Omg great
Comment Icon At 6/23/13, 12:17 PM, dubstuff said...
Ok. Why in the world would the numbers to press for dyslexic be '696969'? Makes no sense. In the REAL version of this its for nymphos. Dyslexia means you dear sdrawkcab, read backwards for the slow people out there. Did the person who recorded this really not know what dyslexia is? Or are they so embarrassed by sexual things that they cant say nympho? Massive fail.
Comment Icon At 7/3/13, 11:52 PM, lmmd223 said...
Dubstuff are u for real? 69 69 69 Is hilarious for dyslexia. No one is uptight here but u. A dyslexic would have a hard time distinguishing between a 6 and a 9. Umm, duh.
Comment Icon At 8/19/13, 3:03 AM, BlackCatCoven said...
Dubstuff, Dyslexia isn't reading things backwards, it's having a hard time distinguishing the difference between numbers and letters that look alike. like 6's and 9's, or q's and p's, or d's and b's. Yes it occasionally makes them read things backwards but it usually just scrambles the letters.
Comment Icon At 9/10/13, 2:42 AM, Xoebla said...
who cares?
Comment Icon At 9/14/13, 2:39 AM, suzieq4999033 said...
Love it. So funny.
Comment Icon At 9/29/13, 2:21 AM, *Anonymous* said...
Love it
Comment Icon At 10/7/13, 12:38 AM, Toolmaster said...
I fell out of my chair laughing, roflol
Comment Icon At 2/27/14, 11:14 AM, Bobbylo said...
Great i enjoyed listening to the recording and im going to download it so my friends can get a free laugh from me.
Comment Icon At 3/4/14, 1:32 AM, MRRodzilla said...
Good.Job in that greetings ok
Comment Icon At 3/6/14, 2:12 AM, MRRodzilla said...
" Top Greeting That best! "
Comment Icon At 3/8/14, 3:36 AM, MRRodzilla said...
" This Greeting is great! Thanks! Good Job "
Comment Icon At 5/13/14, 4:27 PM, Deoblow said...
Mental health hot line
Comment Icon At 5/13/14, 4:29 PM, Deoblow said...
Mental health hotline to work now
Comment Icon At 7/17/14, 2:12 AM, RUNTHOG said...
I love it & it throws ALL OF MY CALLER'S FOR A LOOP! THEY THINK THEY HAVE A WRONG # OR THAT MY # HAS BEEN CHANGED! I CAN SEE ALL OF MY "HANG UP CALLER'S" & I CALL THEM BACK, WELL, NOT EVERYONE LOL LOL BUT, THIS IS SUCH A REALLY FUNNY ONE! I HAVE A LOT OF FUN USING THIS OUTGOING MESSAGE! IT'S AWESOME! :)
Comment Icon At 12/31/14, 5:20 PM, upstander said...
Looks like a lot of nutters actually listened to this and applied it to their phones. What a bunch of losers
Comment Icon At 3/1/15, 11:09 PM, dejavu66 said...
Lmao the beast one
Comment Icon At 4/7/16, 2:08 PM, Irishvixen said...
Wow..this has been around since the dark ages. They can't come up with anything new and more funny? Sad
Comment Icon At 4/19/16, 5:32 PM, trinity4200 said...
@Irishvixen, and @upstander, come on! This is a classic! One of my all time favourites! And if you don't like it, fine - everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But instead of putting more negativity into the world, perhaps your time would be better spent writing reviews on things you actually DO enjoy. The world is bad enough as it is. Why add to the disparity with unnecessary and unhelpful reviews like yours. Everyone has the right to their opinion. That does not mean, however, that one should always choose to voice it. Ask yourself this next time you feel like writing a bad review , "Is this helpful?" If your comment or review serves no purpose other than to express how much you hated it, or how 'dumb' people are for liking it, then I would recommend that you save the 4-5 minutes it would have taken you to share your unhelpful thoughts, and do, or see, or listen to something you actually DO like. Wouldn't it be nice to not see hatred and negativity everywhere we looked? Make the world a better place, a kinder place, one post at a time.
Comment Icon At 9/11/16, 2:15 AM, Itsokifurnuts said...
That's a good one! Nothing wrong with a little crazy
Comment Icon At 11/23/16, 6:47 PM, anom said...
Too long for Verizon. After the greeting it just disconnects. Adds insult to injury.
Comment Icon At 3/15/18, 1:47 AM, WCarroll said...
Ha ha ha! Great!
Comment Icon At 4/10/18, 8:13 AM, Cece1992 said...
Really hilarious but insane. Lol weak
Comment Icon At 4/15/18, 6:36 PM, Larry1 said...
Pressing one repeatedly....still
Comment Icon At 5/7/18, 12:36 AM, *Anonymous* said...
Lol this is great sending to my daughter cause this is her sense of HUMER
Comment Icon At 5/26/18, 3:04 PM, vej123 said...
To Irishvixen, concerning being around since the dark ages posted in April 2016. I have been around since the dark ages, I am 71 years old and have never heard this before today. I love it. 26May2018
Comment Icon At 12/27/18, 4:13 PM, DrinkMinister said...
I had a police officer ask me did I know my phone number was going to a mental health center. I forgot I had this for my answering machine. LOL, she told me to call my service provider and try to get this fixed.
Comment Icon At 9/21/19, 1:31 AM, WillowyG said...
I used this for my psych. She LOVES it!!!!

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