Free voicemail greetings

Greetings earthling. Hi, I'm an extra terrestrial being from the planet. I have been sent to Earth in the form of this answering machine to propagate with your species in order to spread my highly superior race throughout the universe. You may not realize it, but right now I am having sex with your hair and I know you like it because you are smiling. You may leave a message at the talk, but then please call back because I am very, very *****.