Free voicemail greetings

Hi I'm not able to come to the phone right now so please leave a message for my cat(?) who will return your call as soon as he finishes a six hour nap has a two hour advance sharpen-just-because-of(?) my fine Italian leather couch make a deposit in his litter box and find some importance(?) of making creature to kill and leave on my front doorstep and wait for them you know.